Life.

Life.

The single most complex thing on this planet.

Just the simple fact of being is so hard to grasp, just think. Everything you do; the blood pumping through your veins, every simple breath you take, every step, every sight you take in. Not to mention all of life that is in being around us; the lapping of water on a seashore, the setting sun, the waves of grass in the wind, the chirping of a small bird on your way out the door. Its always there, but we tend to miss it due to our busy schedules, our "lives" that we all have. It is just all so complex, so beautiful in its own small way that we tend to overlook what we all have at our fingertips.


Then there is our "lives", the things we center around when we ignore the rest of the world. The drama, the heartache, the "love", the pain, the friendships hurt and lost, and the new ones that are forged. Everything gets in the way, blocks our view, blinds us from what is good for us. Most of the time well sit there saying how much our lives suck. Everyone looks at our lives in the worst ways sometimes, and its understandable with all the drama and pain we all deal with. Sometimes it's with friends, or family. Other times its personal, but it always hurts and it builds up, especially in these years now. Partially it is made by us, and we can hate ourselves for it. Some of us have had those nights where its just to much and we cry ourselves asleep. That's the pain we have to learn to live with till it becomes a bearable memory, and we try not to commit the same error. The other part is different, uncontrollable, and more difficult to cope with. This pain is caused by our friends and family, branches from the drama and the heartache, the want, the sorrow that is in all of our lives. This is the one that truly can destroy the closest of relationships, deeply hurt the ones your care about the most and leaving scars that may never fully heal. Nothing is worse than this. The feeling of betrayal and sorrow can tear a person apart.


This last year i have both felt pain, and selfishly dealt it. I have hurt so many people closest to me, and burned bridges i fear can never be mended. It scares me to know what i have done, and i have lain awake at night feeling it eat and tear at my soul. I have hurt both my friends and my family. i have never made a stupider mistake in my short life, for friends and family are what you have to keep you going throughout the heartache and pain and sorrow that life brings your way.


Although you may never read this, to my friends i still have, and to those i have lost due to what i have caused; I am sorry. I have scarred my soul with this atrocity of what my life had become, and although i may never truly mend the connection between us, i hope that you all know before it closes completely, that my apology is true and heartfelt. I am truly sorry.


I have tried to write from my heart tonight, so im sorry if this is confusing. To anyone else who's reading this and is very confused, take the first part to heart. Next time when u walk out the door in the morning, take in what your seeing. Enjoy the scent of a new day for a few seconds, listen to that bird calling in the morning sun, think about all that you have missed; and live.

well hello again,
i havent written in forever and i should write before my friend kills me...but YES i have a lot to talk about tonight, so sit back, grab a drink, quit smoking, and enjoy.

ok so an update on my life....it was recently my birthday 16 FINALLY. and well...my bday itself kinda sucked, because of a whole bunch of family things. and friday, was something else. I sware anything that COULD have gone wrong has gone wrong, and then one little tiny thing set me off and i just broke down crying, i missed my LA class because of it. But later that day i had Dance Club, and it was awesome because the drummers FINALLY came. afterward i was EXAUSTED, and that night was a dance, and me and my girlfriend were dead but, hell its the valentines day dance. She tells me she has a dr. apointment after dance. so she leaves and i go home to get ready, i shower, get all clean, shave, ect, ect...and then she comes picks me up and starts freaking out cause we only have 15 mins to get to her house for her to get ready and to get to the dance on time.
so we walk into her house..the lights flick on...and i have about 35 of my closest friends there screaming SUPRIZE.....i pretty much had a heart attack. But i couldnt stop smiling for the rest of the night. I huged everyone at least 5 times, (some people consistantly) It was the best night ive had in YEARS, if the not the most fun i have ever had. We played rock band, i got cards from everyone. My best friends made me mixed cds...and the big gift that EVERYONE pitched in for...and iTouch :-D
I have never been more greatful to have such good friends, i love them all, and i thank them for such an AMAZING night!!! <3333333333333333333333333

And now theres only one thing i need to get....a new fadora, i am going to find one soon because ive been devoid of a good hat since i lost my last one...and i miss it :-( but i will find another good one soon!

OK so anyway. Titanic practices have been really good, ive been getting off and on sick wich is a real strain, on my voice.

Oh and ive found a few more things to get addicted to: I'm On a Boat- The Lonley Island
and im reading a good book called City of Bones- by Cassandra Clare

So yea thats all for now...but i WILL make a habbit of writing more often, and for now good night all

A taste of life?

Hokay,

So heres the deal, im OBSESSED with music. It drives my life, and i gladly let it. Without Music the world with be a much crueler place, and i would absolutely hate it. As Victor Hugo has once said "Music expresses that which can not be said and on which it is impossible to be Silent". I enjoy its beauty and its power to affect the emotions to the point of driving you to tears, or bursting into happiness, and the sensation you get every once and a while, where a peice affects you so deeply you lose youself in it, and your soul embodies the song, and it feels as though it was a part of you. Im trying to learn as much about music as i possibly can and hope to someday go to collage for Music. While i plan on becoming and actor, i want to end up as a Conductor. Ive recently started learning conducting techniques, and sometimes I just cant controll my hand! :-P Even though no music teacher of mine will end up reading this i do want to extend a silent thank you for all the work theyve done, and the inspiration that ive felt through them.

Two other huge portions of my life are my Acting and my Dance. My acting i have been doing since the forth grade, and i never want to stop! Being on stage, becoming a character, feeling my own spin, losing that touch on reality, and falling into the scene, living it, breathing it....(wow thats a runon sentence...) Musicals are my favorite to do because it combines all the best parts of the stage. Currently im going an amazing show called Titanic (no no not jack and rose). It protrays one of the greatest stories ever to be told, and it moves me everytime i hear a peice of the beautifly written score. Some people call me crazy, but going to practice is one of the number one funnest things in the whole world. And working for one of the best directors ever helps the proscess!!
And as for dance, i started last year, and im DYING to take classes. I would do anything if i could go and take real classes. anyway im rambleing..

And as for the last and most important part of my life...my beautiful amazing ireplaceable girlfriend. Without her i woulda gone crazy by now. She is so amazing, and stands by me no matter what, ive never loved anyone more than her, hell i didnt even know it was possible to love a person this much. She has it all, shes beautiful, smart, a dancer, good actress, and an AMAZING MUSICIAN!! We enjoy all of the same things, from small to big. Weve had almost all of our firsts to the Soundtrack of Joseph and the Amazing Tecnhicolor Dreamcoat, and i wouldnt have it any other way. I shall never forget every moment weve had togehter, from the moment i asked her to be mine to our last dying breath, i will always love her no matter what trouble comes our way. I owe her so much, and love her for everything that shes ever done for me. No one could make me half as happy as my baby <33333
I love you!!!!


soo....yea thats enough for one night, im going to get some sleep!!

First Blog!!

Ok, so here i go...

So this is my first blog, and ive wanted to start one for a long time, and finally got peer pressured into doing it :-P

Anyway my life consists of four major parts: Music, Theater, Dance, and the most wonderful girl in the world. Yea shell show up here a lot. Shes my inspiration in everything i do :-)

Anyway an introduction should by nature be brief...so in that i will leave it here. :-D